圣诞节笑话英文一：
This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent's witnesses.
One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.
“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel.“There is no need for you to argue the point!”
“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness.
“There are not!” snapped the lawyer.
“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：Have you ceased beating your wife?”
圣诞节笑话英文二：
The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."
圣诞节笑话英文三：
ide a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."
一家消声器店外："根本不用预约，我们听到你来了!"
ide a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
酒店门外："帮帮忙!我们缺少常住小酒馆的人。"
a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."
接待室的桌上："三个一轮!我们要毫不留情地赶走第三个推销员!注：第二个刚刚离开。"
a veterinarians waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"
兽医的候诊内："稍候5分钟。趴下，别动!"
the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be."
在电气公司："如果你送来钞票，我们会很高兴;如果你不送，就会被断电。"
the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."
a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."
餐馆橱窗："别饿着肚子傻呆在那儿，进来吧，吃顿饱饭!"
de a bowling alley: "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."
在保龄球馆："保持安静，我们需要倾听大头针落地。"
the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
在墓地的'前院："开车当心，我们会等着你的。"
a counselors office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.
在咨询师办公室："变老是由上帝控制的，变聪明是由自己控制的。