简单幽默英语笑话

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你知道学些笑话的好处么?当第一次见面的时候,总是有不知道该说什么的尴尬,这时候你就需要一些笑话,来缓解一下气氛呢,这里小编为你收集整理了简单幽默英语笑话,希望能对你有所帮助哈!

简单幽默英语笑话

简单幽默英语笑话一:不同职责

I was taking my mother for a drive,and she' d scold me whenever I went over the speed limit. Unfortunately I dismissed her advice,and a state trooper gulled me over and issued a ticket.

每次我开快车超速行驶,母亲都责怪我。今天我又开车带母亲出去,结果我还是忘记了她的教侮,开了快车。一位巡逻警叫我停了车,并给了我张罚单。

As my mother and I continued on our way,I complained that he should have let rne off with a warning."Joan,"she said,"I gave you the warning. He gave you the ticket. "

我们继续赶路,我抱怨那巡逻警不应罚我,应先给我个警告。妈妈说:“琼,我给你的是警告,但他给你的是罚单。”

简单幽默英语笑话二:谈话

First woman:"Working full time and trying to do the housework really gets to me. After work yesterday I came home and washed the clothes and the dishes. Tomorrow I have to wash the kitchen floor and the front windows..."

第一个妇女:“工作一整天后还要做家务,可真够我受的。你看,我回家后要洗衣服、洗碗。明天,我还要擦洗厨房的地板和前门的窗户……”

Second woman:"What about your husband?"

第二个妇女:“那你丈夫呢?”

First woman:"Absolutely not! He can wash himself.”

第一个妇女:“他绝不用我洗,他自己会洗。”

简单幽默英语笑话三:永远是驾驶员!

Our oldest son, Willy, a helicopter pilot stationed at Fort Rucker,Alaska, lives and breathes flying. When he called to say he'd be driving home for Christmas,a 16-hour trip,we were surprised. "Why don`t you fly home?"my wife asked.

我的大儿子威利,是阿拉斯加州福特罗克墓地的一名直升飞机驾驶员,生活、呼吸在飞行中。圣诞节快到的时侯,他打电话告诉我们他要驾车回来,有16个小时的旅途。我们吓了一跳。“你为什么不坐飞机回来呢?”我妻子问他。

"Because,"Willy replied, "I hate riding in the back!”

威利说:“因为我讨厌坐在飞机的后面。”

简单幽默英语笑话四:神童

I taught a "gifted and talented"class made up of particularly bright fifth-and-sixth graders. In the midst of a lesson on the power of observation, I realized that I was wearing two different styles of shoes. Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible,I moved behind my desk and concluded the lesson from there,thankful that the students didn't seem to have noticed.

我教的一个“高智商”班的学生全都是五六年级里挑出来的。有一次上课,当讲观察的`能力时,我突然发现自己穿错了鞋,两只鞋一样一只。我尽量装成没事的样子,走动的范围只限于讲台桌的长度,一直到上完课我也没离开。感谢上帝,学生们看上去什么都没发现。

The next day,I discovered that my lesson had been learned all too well. Before me sat a class of bright, smiling students—each wearing mismatched shoes.

第二天,我才领略到我的课被学生理解得有多么透彻。坐在我面前的这群聪明、可爱、面带微笑的学生,他们每个人都穿着不同样式的两只鞋。