职场英语:英文简历中不该出现的话

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职场英语:英文简历中不该出现的话

Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10.

Qualifications: No education or experience.

I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy.

My compensation should be at least equal to my age.

Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC.

Fired because I fought for lower pay.

Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65 .

Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date.

Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near.

Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately.

 打字错误与语法错误:

Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.

I am a rabid typist.

Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981.

After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to

pursue a new line of work.

Accounting cleric.

As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments.

Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments.

Suspected to graduate early next year.

Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.

Proven ability to track down and correct erors.

Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.

Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.